... what is going on...
I am writing you all to tell you that my family once again needs your support, love and prayers. As you probably know, my mom has been diagnosed with lung cancer, and has completed the first treatment cycle of chemotherapy several months ago. Although the treatment was effective in removing some of the smaller tumors in her right lung, the last CT scan results have shown that the cancer in my mom is once again active and the largest tumor has grown again. Despite the bad news, we are thankful that there is good news: the cancer appears to not have spread to any other parts of her body, which is something we thank God for.
After discussion with doctors, it has been decided that my mom will be going through another round of chemotherapy. However, since the last set of treatments did not work as well as the doctors had hoped, a different treatment will be used. Unfortunately, this treatment will have more serious side effects including complete hair loss, nausea and some other unpleasant physical effects. Several rounds of treatments will be administered over the next six months or so, in attempts to control the cancer growth.
My aunt is in Hong Kong currently, and won't be able to return back to help take care of my grandmother. The last time we went through chemotherapy, my grandmother was living with my aunt nearby, which allowed my dad to focus on caring for my mom. This time, my grandmother will be living back at home, and so will I since I'm back from school. In August, my sister Karen will also be back for her last coop placement. As you can see, this is many more people in the house, which means more people to help out, but also more sources of stress for my dad.
... what i have been thinking ...
As most of you know, my dad has only recently accepted Christ and this past year has been particularly difficult for him. The most important things of his life, which were once stable and certain are now very much unstable and very uncertain. When I look at what he is facing, I wonder why he has been given such a great burden to bear, when his faith is still so new. This is but one of the many questions that I have been asking God throughout this journey, and although the answer has not yet been made fully known to me, God is not silent.
I once told a friend that when we start to doubt God and when things happen in this world that we don't understand, we have to remind ourselves of God's character, and hold steadfast to that. This is what I have been doing in these past couple of weeks... through Bible passages, Christian books, praise songs, and the words of good friends, God is speaking to me and I am reminded of the steady and faithful character of our Lord, how He knows our pain and suffering and how He weeps *with* us as we cry for those we love.
Still, despite all of these things, there are times when I feel helpless, almost void of hope and joy. My questions outnumber the answers and the reasons to doubt outnumber the reasons to have faith. It is at times such as these I will look to you for encouragement and support, and to your faithfulness in prayer... I am strengthened when I look around and see that both me and my family are surrounded by such a great "cloud of witnesses" that God has provided to run alongside us in this race. Thank you for that. Please continue praying for my family... and running the race that has been marked out for us.
With love, Deb
